Monday, February 21

Dealing with emotional vampires

As a friend, I've always been a sponge. I lend a listening ear to friends who need someone to talk to. Oftentimes, I let them talk and I just keep my mouth shut. I believe that it's therapeutic to just let it all out. But you know, I'm just human and I also need to veer away from all the rants especially when I begin to feel that a friend is slowly developing into an emotional vampire.

vampire doll

What is an emotional vampire? An emotional vampire is one who can suck all the positive energy out of you. He/She can be a friend who constantly rants about everything that is happening in his/her life even when you know that it's not that bad. Or he/she can be someone who always puts you down and never tells you that you're doing good. Sadly, they can also be people close to you who always find a way to ask you for money and make you feel guilty when you can't help them financially.

I've been there and I've cried a million times from bearing all their negative vibes. But now I know better and I now know what to do. Here are some things I did to deal with these emotional vampires:

  • I now know when not to listen. I can manage a 5-minute ranting over the phone but I can now drop it if it's going to be longer than that. I also keep a lot of excuses under my sleeve should I need one to stop listening to a ranting friend.
  • I surround myself with happy songs, happy thoughts and happy people. When I feel emotionally drained, I turn up the volume and listen to Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga, seriously! I dance and think of happy thoughts. I call my sister and we just talk about nonsense on the phone and just laugh the afternoon away.
  • I am content with what I am and what I have. I can truly say that I am so thankful to the Lord for giving me this kind of life. I remind myself that I am blessed and there's no need to feel sad about anything.
  • I kept them busy, haha! One emotional vampire appeared to have nothing to do but to drain the happiness out of me so I asked her to just write an assignment for me to keep her busy. She needed money and she wanted me to lend her some. I was at my wits end with my deadlines and I don't need more stress. Good thing she accepted my job offer. I think she took so much time reading animal cuts reviews for the health article I asked her to write that she didn't have time to rant about her life anymore. Both our problems were solved, how genius of me!

I hope you found this post useful. Do not let yourself fall into an emotional vampire's trap. A healthy person is a happy person and vice versa. Stay away from the negative vibe.

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