Sunday, July 27

Self-assessment

My husband and I have been hitting on each other's nerves lately.He told me that I'm too serious and that I shouldn't take everything he says like he means it. He told me that I'm always judging everything that he says and I take them against me. I can't take most of his jokes, lately. I think they are foolish and immature.

Today, during lunch, we had our recent spat.We have just attended our son's PTA meeting in school and we were having a conversation on how only 6 sets of parents and guardians came in my son's section.He said something like "Pwede naman pala eh." and I got irritated as usual. I went like "Ewan ko sa iyo." and I said something like it's our only son's school event we were talking about and for it me it was on top of my priorities. Then he asked me if I ever assess myself when I react like that and that he only meant it as a joke (again!). I kept quiet and thought about it which was hard because deep inside I was fuming mad.

In my 30 minutes of silence before our lunch was served (service is that bad at Floring's SM City Taytay), I realized some things. I think that I have been looking at life differently now. I am more serious and uptight and in doing so I hurt the ones that should enjoy life with me the most. I can blame this attitude of mine on so many outside factors. It can be because of the stress I encounter everyday from work. It can be because of the worries I have on my health. It can be because I am so dam#* tired and I lack sleep. Still, there's no one else to blame but me. So I just nudged myself and told my sub-conscious to always be on the watch for my over-reactive moments. Less outburst = less conflict = happy relationships.

But then again, am I being a bad person for being this way?

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