This picture was taken years ago. I think, during the Christmas season. From the leftmost part of the picture is our youngest brother Lucky (Louis Rafael), beside him is Ate Do (Doreen, the grimwitch), Toto, (Leo Rafael), me, and Lloyd. Every New Year, ever since I got married, we take a new picture spoofing this old one. It's nice to see how we've changed.
The clock is ticking, it's already the 27th. Patay... lapit na ang deadline ko. Talagang tamad na tamad ako this semester. Gosh, ganito pala pag malapit na matapos ang course mo, nakakatamad. I just can't wait to graduate!
This sem, I'm enrolled in EDRE201 (Methods of Educational Research). I miss Prof. Porsche, buti pa yun napaka-maasikaso. Ngayon, I can't remember my professors name pa nga eh, we're left in the dark. As if naman fresh pa sa aking utak ang pagfo-formulate ng research problem. Eh kelan ko pa ba huling ginawa yun, Com I or Com II ata. Paging Prof. Praxedes Chua.... pa-tutor naman! Eh mas lalo yung mga classmates ko na more "matured" (meaning in their forties and fifties na), limot na raw nila. Ni wala man lang kaming consultation session about our research topics! Waah! Naiiyak na ako.
So back to my assignment... eto yun, simpleng one-liner na: State your research problem. Ano daw? Eh hindi ko nga alam kung anong area of interest ko eh. Eh kasi naman, di ko balak mag thesis next sem, magsi-special problem at compre exam na lang ako. Di ko naman balak mag-doctorate no!
Bakit ba mas hirap ako mag-meet ng deadlines ko ngayong wala na akong work? Siguro kasi three times a week nasa Don Bosco ako at hatid sundo kay Rap (eh kasi naman nag-join ng football team ang cute kong anak). Siguro din kasi naa-addict ako sa Millsberry.com at Neopets. (Oi try niyo, nakakaaliw!). Or siguro din kasi ang *&^%$# kong PC ay hindi reliable.
Isa pa yang PC kong pasaway. Kakapalit ko lang ng hard disk. Nagpa-upgrade ako ng XP from Win98. Anak ng patola! Hindi licensed version ang nilagay, ang mahal ng binayad ko! Naubos ang allowance ko for the month. (Opo, under allowance nanaman ako kay Daddy Jun.) Tapos service pack 1 pa! Grrrr!!!! God bless him! (In other words, bahala na si Lord sa kanya.) Sabagay, ka-age ni Rap ang PC na yun. Kaya siguro naghihingalo na ang mga spare parts. Hmmm.... sino nagbebenta jan ng laptop? Pwede pa trade-in na lang ng PC ko? HP yun, orig lahat parts pwera lang hard disk na kapapalit lang.
O sya, google muna ako ng mga pwede kong maging research problem. Like last sem, ang mantra ko nanaman ngayong sem ay:
"Bokya kung Bokya!" Bwehehehe!
Tag/s: gradschool
It's another birthday for me. This time, I spent it just like any other day of the year. Well... expect for the fact that Ralph and I ate lunch at Mc Donald's and heard mass at Don Bosco ... it was the same errand day for someone like me.
Sounds depressing?
I don't know, I just didn't feel like my usual happy self these past few days. Blame it on the hormones or blame it on someone else... still depends on my mood.
And I hate myself for dishing out all my angst on the ones closest to me. Haay naku... I'm telling you... kawawa talaga sila sa topak ko.
I'm sure you've had one of those days that you wish you can just break all the dishes and slit your wrist with the broken pieces afterwards.
Tried to sing my topak away last night. Selected all Karen Carpenter's songs on my Magic Sing just to lighten up a bit. Kaya lang inubo-ubo naman ako sa usok ng iniihaw na liempo sa dirty kitchen. Hehehe... comedy ba?
Anyway, we had inihaw na liempo and ensaladang mangga for dinner, with Coke (pabigyan niyo na, birthday ko naman e). Watched TV afterwards and went to bed by 9pm.
I had trouble sleeping so I just thought about things. And prayed the most personal prayer I've ever prayed. Felt some teardrops in my eyes after realizing that there's no point in being unhappy at all.
I'm loved. There's a God who loves me and a family who loves me, too. I just have to realize that often.
I'm beautiful. But nobody will see it unless I start appreciating myself more.
I'm smart. Ay, eto , matagal ko nang alam. *wink*
I'm fortunate. Because I'm not only getting my needs but I can also spend on my wants.
So... seems this will be my mantra for the days to come.
I'm loved, I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and I'm fortunate. Tried saying this to myself ten times the moment I woke up this morning.
Now I'm back to my old, happy, and contented self.
